Survivor's Guilt
by E.A. Cooper
Summary: Narcissa takes a trip to Andromeda's home, where she is a little less than welcome. However, when they talk, Andromeda learns important information about her daughter's death. Please R&R. Rated T for language.


**A/n:** The idea for this came to me when my two best friends and I decided to pretend to be the Black sisters... and from my love of the Lupins. I realize Narcissa is a little OCC, but what can you do?

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill... As much as I wish I owned these amazing characters, I do not. Joanne Kathleen Rowling does.

* * *

**Survivor's Guilt**

There was a sharp knock on the door of Andromeda Tonks's home.

"Who is it?" The Grandmother called, laying her grandson, Teddy Remus Lupin, down for a nap.

"Andromeda… Andromeda, it's Narcissa" Andromeda froze. Narcissa was the last person she had except to wind up on her doorstep.

"May I come in?" she asked wearily. Here she was, Narcissa Malfoy, practically begging her estranged sister to let her come in. Had another death eater been around, Narcissa would have been dead on the spot.

Andromeda opened her door. Peering out only slightly, she checked for signs of danger.

"Narcissa," she said icily. Narcissa shuddered.

"Dromeda… Please, may I come in?" Narcissa asked.

"No," Andromeda replied firmly.

"We have a lot to catch up on. I miss you. Please" Narcissa begged her sister.

"Why now?" asked Andromeda, voice laced with hurt.

"Please, Dromeda?" Narcissa begged.

"No, Narcissa. It's been a little _**too **_long. Go," Andromeda said fury raging inside of her. She went to close the door.

Narcissa put her hand on the door to try to stop her from closing it. "It's about Tonks! Please?"

"Nymphadora?" she asked, voice laced with tears.

"Yes. Please let me in. It won't take that long, I swear it."

The former Black sister sighed, and opened her door fully, gesturing to the couch.

"Have a seat," she said.

Narcissa obliged, peering around the room for the first time. The walls were painted a maroon-like color; the windows cream. There was a cream fireplace on the wall beneath the staircase that the maroon furniture was situated around. The mantle held pictures of Andromeda's closet family members – Ted, her husband, Nymphadora, her daughter, Remus Lupin, her son-in-law, and Teddy, her grandson.

"Why did you really come here?" Andromeda asked softly.

"Andromeda… I have some things I want to tell you – a lot of things actually… It's been a while," Narcissa said. Her normally calm demeanor was long gone. Narcissa started biting her nails, like she had when being reprimanded as a child.

"Thirty years, Cissy. Thirty years without word from you, and now you expect me to welcome you into my home with open arms!"

"Drom-" Andromeda cut her sister off.

"You kicked me out, Narcissa!"

"No! Andromeda, that was all Bellatrix and Mother, and you know it!" Narcissa had tears streaming down her pale face. "I supported you! I begged Father to take you back in!"

The sisters sat facing each other, each trying to regain their composure.

"The past is in the past, Dromeda," Narcissa said quietly after a few minutes of silence. "Please, can't we just be liked we used to?" Narcissa pleaded. "I miss us, Dromeda. I miss you. Please? At least for today?"

Andromeda considered this. She missed her sister, no doubt about it. She had always like Narcissa better than Bellatrix, anyway. But, Narcissa was still a death eater. Still, with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named gone…

Dromeda nodded slowly. "Okay, just for today."

Narcissa looked shocked. "Really?" she asked shakily.

"Really," Andromeda responded, moving to hug her sister.

They stayed like that for five whole minutes, each silently crying for their lost years together.

Andomreda escorted Narcissa to the kitchen, where they caught up briefly over coffee and cupcakes.

"I made these for Nymphadora and Remus before they… you know," Andromeda explained.

"I'm so sorry for your loss," Narcissa replied immediately, reaching for her sister's hand. It felt so good to be able to apologize for one's loss.

"Thank you, Cissy. It's just that… we don't know how, what happened."

"You don't?" Narcissa asked, incredulous.

"You do?"

"Yes, I was… I was with them. I tried to help them."

"You did?"

"Yes. I wasn't about to let those idiotic… those people hurt my family."

"Thank you. Who-"

"Bellatrix and Dolohov"

Andromeda paused, letting the information soak in.

"Will you… Would you tell me about it?" Andromeda asked softly.

"Are you sure you want to know?"

The Widow nodded slowly.

"Well, I'm not sure about the exact details of the beginning. Remus was fighting Dolohov when Nymph-… Tonks found him. When I passed through, they were both fighting him…"

* * *

_Narcissa passed through the halls of Hogwarts, looking for her son. As she sprinted through the Great Hall, she noticed a bright-haired witch. The witch was holding hands with a shabby-looking man, fighting Antonin Dolohov. Narcissa recognized the former as her niece, Nymphadora, and assumed the man was her werewolf husband, Remus Lupin. After watching her own husband, Lucius, escort their son out of the school, Narcissa crouched down beside an overturned table. She was very interested in her niece's fighting skills._

"_Aww, the half-breed's come to her werewolf's rescue. How sweet. But shouldn't the mommy be at home, watching her cub?" Dolohov teased. It was well-known among the death eaters that the two had just had a baby._

"_Leave him out of this," Nymphadora growled. Narcissa decided that her niece sounded like any mother whose child was threatened._

"_Fine. Now, the question becomes who to take out first: the wolf or his mate?" Dolohov sneered._

"_This is our fight, Dolohov. Not hers," Lupin said forcefully._

"_You Lupins are protective people, I see. Very then, Wolf. Fight me," Antonin replied, sending powerful curses at Nymphadora's husband. Nymphadora fought another younger death eater to the side of them, throwing well-aimed curses towards Dolohov whenever possible._

_After a while of fighting, the werewolf kicked up his power, and sent stronger curses towards Dolohov, matching his intensity. Once curse, Narcissa didn't catch what it was, was practically harmful, causing the death eater's left arm to go limp. "If that's the way you want to play…" he trailed off._

"_CRUCIO!" Antonin yelled, sending the curse past Remus, and towards Nymphadora._

_Things seemed to move in slow motion for Narcissa as she darted out of her hiding place, casting a "protego" charm to protect her niece._

"_Narcissa! What the hell do you think you're doing?!?" Dolohov cried, outraged._

"_Following orders," Narcissa said calmly. _

_She heard Nymphadora's shocked whisper of, "Thank you, Aunt Narcissa", and muttered back her own sentimental phrase, "You're welcome, my niece." Narcissa watched from the corner of her eye as Nymphadora patched her husband's wounds. Lupin had a confused look on his face. The young woman smiled a small, sad smile towards her aunt, then proceeded to drag her husband off somewhere else._

"_What do you mean, 'Following orders', Malfoy? The Dark Lord gave no orders regarding that scum." Dolohov complained._

"_No, he didn't," Narcissa replied. She internally cringed at the word scum. They started circling each other._

"_Then who did?" Antonin asked._

"_Bellatrix"_

"_When"_

"_Yesterday. You must have missed the memo," Narcissa replied, her voice laced with sarcasm. _

"_Must have," he stated, and ran off._

_Narcissa rushed to where her niece sat, dodging spells along the way. Quickly looking to make sure no death eaters were watching, she went to her niece's side._

"_Hey," she said upon reaching Tonks. "Long time no see, eh?" she asked with a grin._

"_Thank you, Aunt Narcissa. For saving us," Nymphadora said, only looking away from her husband for a minute._

"_No need to thank me. How is he?" Narcissa asked, kneeling down next the man._

"_He was hit with some pretty nasty curses, but he should be fine. He's out cold right now. He's going to need to see a healer after this. I'm not very good at healing spells. The only thing I can really manage to do is give him the chocolate," Tonks said with a sigh._

"_Do you want me to try to help?" Narcissa asked quietly._

"_Please?" asked Tonks, tears filling her eyes._

"_Okay then. Adiuvo," Narcissa cast the healing spell without her wand, as she had become so good at doing._

_Narcissa stood as Remus started moaning. "You two protect yourselves, okay?" she said, walking away. Tonks nodded, and hugged her husband tightly…_

* * *

Narcissa momentarily paused, giving her sister a minute to digest this information. 

"Why did you stop?" Andromeda wiped her tears off her face, and blew her nose into the tissue.

"Well, I just… I mean, I figured you'd… never mind. You want me to continue?"

"Yes, please. Don't stop this time," Andromeda pleaded, dabbing her eyes again. She took a cupcake out of the bright pink wrapper and shoved the whole thing down her throat.

Though Narcissa didn't understand her sister's decision, she continued on. "I started walking away from them when Bellatrix saw me…"

* * *

"_Narcissa!" Bellatrix hissed. "Why aren't you attacking that half-breed niece of ours?!?"_

"_Because I couldn't," Narcissa replied simply._

"_Why the bloody hell not," Bellatrix screeched._

"_You lost my wand," she offered._

"_Bleeding' Christ. __INCARCEROUS!" Bellatrix shouted at her sister. Narcissa struggled with the ropes that surrounded her._

"_Now, stay, dear sister. Not that you have much of a choice," Bellatrix taunted. She ran off in the direction Narcissa had come from. Narcissa craned her neck so she could see._

"_Look, if it isn't inseey weensy little Tonksie. Or would that be Lupin now," Bellatrix sneered._

"_None of your business, Bellatrix," Nymphadora hissed._

"_Oh, Nymphadora, you hurt my feelings. Doesn't Auntie Bella have the right to know what's happening in her niece's life?" Bellatrix, mocked, feigning hurt._

"_Not when she's a death eater who's trying to kill me, no," Tonks replied._

_Narcissa watched Antonin Dolohov sneak up behind Lupin._

"_Lupin, behind you!" she called desperately._

_At the very same time, Bellatrix and Dolohov cast the most evil and unforgivable of curses - avada kedavra. And, at the very same time, husband and wife, joined their hands and jumped in front of the curses, trying to save each other. They fell to the ground stiffly, hands still joined. It was almost like they had an eternal grip on each other, Narcissa thought._

_The call of the Dark Lord was heard, so Bellatrix loosed the ropes on her sister, and together, they darted towards where they knew You-Know-Who was. Narcissa couldn't help but feel disgusted over what treacherous crime her sister had committed – Tonks was her niece for Christ's sake. However, she ignored it, and continued on…_

* * *

"Dromeda… Bella was always the worst of us. She died too, you know. Molly Weasley killed her... It's funny, actually. I would sit home and cry, and Lucius thought it was for Bella. The first day, yes some was for Bella, but after that… It was really all for her. The amazing nice I'd never get to know. You and Ted did a good job with her, as I'm sure you'll do with her son… If you ever need any help, you know…" Narcissa trailed off as the baby's wails trailed into the kitchen. 

"Teddy's crying… Umm, I'll be right back. I… I have to take care of him," Andromeda said brokenly.

"Dromeda. Andromeda, wait!" Narcissa cried, following her sister out of the room.

In the living room, the Grandmother held her grandson, the only living remains of her precious daughter, and wept.

Narcissa swiftly calmed the baby down and laid him back in his bassinet. She led her sister to the couch, where she comforted her late in to the night. Around one o' clock in the morning, Narcissa left Andromeda in her nice, warm bed, chocolate nearby. She slipped downstairs and left a note on the end table, saying when she was available, and to owl her when she awoke the next morning. Narcissa then let herself out the front door, making sure to lock it. She then proceeded to apparate to her own home, where she instantly went to kitchen and drank an entire cup of hot chocolate.

She made her through the halls of Malfoy Manner, stopping briefly in her son's room. Narcissa walked to Draco's bed and planted a soft kiss on his forehead. "I love you, my son," she said. He mumbled incoherently and turned in his sleep.

Narcissa slipped out of the room as quickly and quietly as she had come in. She headed to her own bedroom and slipped into bed. She fell into a restless sleep, plagued by survivor's guilt.

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